Vegan Insalata Italiana


Course: Main

Serves: 2 persons

Preparation time:
Slicing and Dicing: 4 minutes
Aesthetically Pleasing Presentation: 1 minute
Total: 5 minutes


1 x premium Japanese kitchen knife
1 x hand-crafted colander
1 x vegan (to slice and dice)


  • 1 x 750ml bottle of artesian Vegan Water®
  • 1 x organically-grown Romaine lettuce from the local farmers' market
  • 1 x punnet of cherry tomatoes plucked straight-off-the-vine
  • Assortment of colourful in-season veggies that have been kissed by the glimmering rays of the Adriatic sun
  • Mediterranean extra virgin olive oil (i.e. oil that hasn't been fucked)
  • Lemon, garlic cloves, oregano, and fresh parsley for use in Italian dressing.


1) Finely chop your hand-selected tomatoes and veggies before rinsing them in the colander with your artesian Vegan Water®. Use a massing motion whilst doing so to help the fresh flavours ooze out into the dish.

2) Tentatively break apart your lettuce leaves and, again, rinse with artesian Vegan Water®.  Keep a couple of leaves left over to feed to your pet rabbit; filling the bottle in its hutch with Vegan Water® if you feel so inclined to do so. We are all God's creatures and deserve equal opportunities. The refreshing, unparalleled taste of Vegan Water® is not only reserved for Homo Sapiens.

3)  Drizzle a healthy serving of olive oil into a bowl before adding two cloves of freshly-pressed garlic, the juice of one squeezed lemon and a pinch of oregano and parsley. Mix thoroughly.

4) Present the ingredients in a serving bowl in an aesthetically pleasing arrangement before serving up the delight to your guest.